Changes
by Kitsune-Haven
Summary: Song fic to Changes my three doors down, rest of the summary inside so please click! HieixKurama


Summary: Song Fic, What happens when a traumatizing event causes Kurama to loose control of his Youko self? Will he lose his human life and become the thieving spirit fox once more? Or will Hiei be able to help him though it? Oneshot KxH

_I'm not supposed to be scared of anything _

_but I don't know where I am_

_I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted _

_and nobody understands how I feel_

Kurama lay on the ground of the park staring up at the night sky, his body broken and his ravished clothing covered in a demon's blood. He winced as he attempted to move 'Stupid human.' Youko snarled in the back of his head 'how could you get us caught?'

"be silent." Kurama groaned out loud to his other self, though Youko was right. He shouldn't have been so foolish to cut though the park at this time of night and especially not with an A class demon tailing him. But he did, and he'd lost the fight; yes the demon was dead now, but Kurama couldn't kill him in time. So here he was, alone in the middle of the park, his cloths in pieces, his body bruised and broken from rape, and covered in his rapist's blood and intestines. The whole situation made Kurama grimace in disgust 'how could you be so weak? How could you let a low demon do this to us?!' Youko growled causing Kurama to clutch his head "Stop it, enough! I know, I know!!" he cried 'you can barely move… pathetic.'

"You try being beaten and raped at the same time; I bet you would not be able to move either. Besides it was you he was after, revenge for what the great Youko did to his partner"

'Having regrets are we?'

"ahhh," Kurama whimpered as he tried to sit up, only to fall on the ground once more

"It is no use; my body is too broken to move" he said

_I'm trying hard to breathe now _

_but there's no air in my lungs_

_There's no one here to talk to and _

_the pain inside is making me numb_

_I try to hold this under control _

_they can't help me cause no one knows_

Hiei hoped on to a near by branch and spotted the broken fox, he immediately jumped to the ground and ran toward his injured friend "Kurama, What happened?!" he said lifting his companions head on to his lap "demon, wanted revenge" the fox managed to whimper before he lost consciousness. Hiei took Kurama to Genkai's temple and with much difficulty over how to use a phone, called the human mother Kurama cared so much about and reassured her that he was a friend of "Shuichi" and that they were taking a short study trip, and then he left. Kurama woke up hours later, still in pain and a little unable to breathe. Genkai explained everything to him and he found himself in a different kind of pain, he could not help but feel happy that Hiei actually cared about him but then he remembered how much he loved the little demon. And how much it hurt to think about him and then he remembered his rape, there was a bright light and Youko Kurama dashed out of the temple

_Now I 'm going though changes, changes _

_God, I feel so frustrated lately_

_When I get suffocated, save me _

_Now I'm, going though changes, changes_

Hiei sat on a tree in the demon world, Kurama had been missing for two weeks now. He then spotted the silver Youko, he tailed him until finally the fox noticed him. Youko stopped and glared at him, running off in the opposite direction. 'Damn. What is wrong with him?' Hiei thought once again following the Youko. Kurama or rather Shuichi barely noticed who his demon self was fleeing so desperately from, he remained dormant inside of the silver fox silently wishing for deliverance. Hiei landed in front of the fleeing fox and stared emotionlessly at him.

"Stop looking at me with that bored face, Hiei. It pisses me off."

"Kurama, what is happening to you?"  
"I'm going back to being the way I was before! Strong and solitary, when nothing could touch me with out my permission."

"You mean like when that hunter caught you? Hn. That was voluntary huh?" Hiei scoffed coldly. Youko glared "I don't have the time nor the patience to deal with you, I am not Shuichi. If you anger me I will not go easy on you, I'll kill you with out a second thought."

"and where is the Kurama I am acquainted with?"

"he's taking a break, possibly for good." Youko said with a smirk, Hiei frowned "I'm afraid I can't let him do that." He said pulling off his cloak and scarf and drawing his sword "If getting him back means I have to kill you, so be it."

Youko laughed "If you kill me you kill him, I may not have the same mannerisms and affections as Shuichi but we still share this body and soul. To put it bluntly I burrowed my soul so deep in the soul of the human that it has taken root, I suppose you can say that we are like two different personalities in one body."

"Then what you said is wrong."

"what?"  
"You clearly stated that you are not Shuichi yet if you share the same body and soul, you are. You are Shuichi and Shuichi is you which makes the combination into the Kurama I met along time ago."  
Youko backed up frowning, because even though he was different than his human side they did share a few things, like the strong affection for Hiei. And realizing that the fire demon understood and accepted him awakened a very human joy in his heart, and that bothered him. He growled and ran once again leaving Hiei cursing under his breath.

_I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone  
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone  
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn  
It feel like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world  
_

The Youko stopped when he came to a cave, fare away from where he sensed Hiei's energy. 'Damn him!' he thought as he punched the ground, meanwhile the human side of him stared in sadness into the darkness 'I'm just fooling my self there's no likelihood that Hiei would return my feelings…' a tear slid down the fox's pale cheek and he whipped it away in horror. The fox yelled in anger and slammed his hands against the cave floor "Damn human emotions! I would never have been so weak as to fall in love in the past!!!" he howled in frustration

"In love with who?"

Youko's eyes widened as he looked up to see Hiei standing at the cave entrance, Jagan eye revealed and holding the white bandage that usually covered it in his left hand. The lightning from the demon world sky added unnecessary dramatics to the moment, the fox was speechless unsure of how to cover himself, how to react and the fact that he didn't know, he didn't know what to do in a time when he was caught off guard, really pissed him off . He looked back at the ground shaking now he was so confused and angry with himself. he closed his eyes and swallowed feeling as though his heart weighed more than the heaviest object in the known universe.

_  
I try to hold this Under control  
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows _

His human side cursed the fact that no one could figure anything about him out with out him telling them except for Hiei that is, and that thought brought on another wave of painful heart ache. 'Ugh, this pain is worse than being physically injured, it's like humiliation, loss, and anxiety all made into a dagger that twists mercilessly into the heart.'

"Come Kurama, it's time we went back to the human world." Hiei said looking down at his friend with those emotionless eyes again, "Never." the fox growled in anger

"Your human mother is so worried it is unsightly."

'Mother!' Shuichi thought and Youko's eyes flashed green for a moment but then the stubborn fox regained control "Why should I care?"

"hn." Hiei suddenly moved in front of the fox roughly grabbing his chin "I don't care weather you care or not, but I hate it when people lie to me."

"Who said I'm lying?"

"It's written in your eyes, Kurama. Try as you might you can't hide your human affections from my Jagan. Now we're leaving."  
"Why do you care?!" Youko yelled suddenly changing back into the red haired Shuichi, unable to handle the serge of unfamiliarity that took over. "Why?"

_Now I'm going through changes, changes  
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
When I get suffocated, save me  
Now I'm going through changes, changes   
_

"Glad to see you are back to normal, it's comforting to see that even you, who are usually so calm and composed, can loose it sometimes."

"I hate you, Hiei…" Kurama whimpered tears sliding down his cheeks

"Why didn't you just let me hide? Fade into darkness and let Youko Kurama take over?"

Hiei stared at the red head "because I am cruel like that."

Kurama closed his eyes tightly, this feeling was worst than what he had felt back in the park. "let's go Kurama, every one is waiting."

"I-I can't get up.." the fox confessed feeling so weak and pathetic, who knew love could injure one so badly? Hiei sighed and leaned down to Kurama's eye level "Yes you can."

"No I can't. When I can't do something I admit it Hiei."

"Emotions don't affect physical strength."

"You're wrong Hiei, how many times have you seen how strong emotions control physical and spiritual power? How many times have you been the one who has been affected by such?"

"That's strong emotions, Kurama. And what you feel for could never be that strong of an emotion."

_  
I'm blind and shakin'  
Bound and breaking  
I hope I make it through all these changes _

Kurama's eyes widened 'so he knows?!'

"I am the forbidden child, a felon and a thief no one could ever love me as strongly as you claim to."

"And what do you think I am??" Kurama laughed

"Huh?"

"Let's do a comparison shall we? My crimes and murders have definitely surpassed yours after all I am at least a century older than you in my demon form. Can your Jagan eye not see how much pain I'm in from loving you?"

"Precisely, it's no wonder you feel pain why would you want to be in love with me?"

"It's not because I don't want to, it's because you don't feel the same!!" Kurama suddenly screamed the tears flying out of his eyes "I hate this feeling, so weak and helpless so…human. I'm sorry Hiei."

"Don't be." Hiei said suddenly an inch away from the fox's lips, he claimed them in a fast desperate move and causing Kurama's eyes to widen in shock. "Who said I didn't feel the same? I'll have to kill them."

__

Now I'm going through changes, changes  
God, I feel so frustrated lately   
When I get suffocated, save me  
Now I'm falling apart, now I feel it 

Kurama nearly collapsed he felt like everything shattered around him, way too much going on in his head. At the same time that he felt like his world just shifted out of balance he felt so relieved and happy and yet so foolish so crying so much in the first place. He felt like his emotions were suffocating him, Hiei must have noticed because in seconds they were kissing passionately, Hiei pushing Kurama to the ground. A few last sparkling tears slide down Kurama's cheeks as he flipped the situation pinning Hiei to the cave floor and smiling slyly "Sorry Hiei, but I've been waiting a long time to do this." He undid Hiei's pants sliding his hand carefully inside as he kissed the fire demon who was moaning into his mouth. "ngh! Kurama…"

The fox smiled wrapping his hand around Hiei's shaft completely; he blinked and glanced down "wow Hiei, your pretty well endowed for your size…"

He chuckled a little barely dodging a rock that a furious Hiei threw at his head. "Bastard!!" Hiei growled now sitting up with a brilliant blush across his cheeks, "what? It's a GOOD thing."

Hiei blinked and actually laughed a little "you're appalling."

"yes I suppose I am being a bit vulgar. But I'm a human teen, perversion comes with the body." Kurama chuckled gliding up his soon to be lover's small body. They kissed as Kurama explored Hiei's body with his hands.

"Ku-Kurama, don't…"

"Don't what Hiei?"

"Not there…I… AH!" The fire demon cried as Kurama slowly pushed in a finger

"Why Hiei, don't tell me you're a virgin?"

"In this sense I am idiot!!"

"So you've never…" Kurama started slowly rotating his finger

"N-not with another guy!"

"really?" The fox smiled at the realization that he was Hiei's first.

"h-have you?"

Kurama stopped for a moment remembering the painful rape in the park. Hiei noticed to solemn look on the fox's beautiful face "That doesn't count."

"what?"

"What that low, honor less demon did to you, doesn't count, it matters if it was willing."

"well if that's the case, then no, not as a human. As Youko I had many lovers, both female and male."

"Well that's comforting." Hiei said looking at the cave ceiling, his blush still present and Kurama's finger still inside him. "Don't worry, you're the only one that's ever had such a strong effect on me." Kurama chuckled  
_  
But I'm going through changes, changes   
God, I feel so frustrated lately  
and I get suffocated, I hate this  
But I'm going through changes, changes_

He slid in another finger causing Hiei to cry out "Ku-Kurama n-no more."

"I'm sorry Hiei, it's too late for us to stop now." The fox added kissing Hiei's neck as he slid in a third finger slowly stretching the little demon. Hiei moaned in pleasure then Kurama undid his own pants and replaced his fingers, pushing inside steadily. "Ah Kurama!!"

"You certainly are loud, Hiei." Kurama gasped out pushing in all the way to the hilt. Soon the cave echoed with cries of pleasure as the quickened their pace. Crying out each other's name they came and relaxed on the cave floor, Kurama pulling lazily out of his partner. "I suppose we should be going." Kurama said sitting up and starting to get dressed, Hiei merely pulled his pants on while he lay on the ground then sat up, he blinked as he attempted to stand. "Kurama…We have a problem."

"What is it Hiei?"

"I can't stand up!" Hiei growled

"Ah heh heh well yes I suppose that is a problem.." Kurama laughed embarrassedly

"Don't just stand there! Help me up!"  
"right away!" Kurama said lifting Hiei onto his back "I have a plan, you must be tired after that, you get some rest and I'll tell every one you used the dragon of the darkness flame while helping me in battle."

"Hn. You're lucky you're cleaver." Hiei yawned as he rested his head against Kurama's shoulder and drifted off to sleep. The fox smiled fondly and began the trip back to human world.

A few hours later they were back at Genkai's and Kurama had a lot of explaining to do and excuses to make up. Convincing his mother and teachers that he was alright and that he'd just had an overwhelmed break down and retired to a friends house, took about two days. The first day was spent fool proofing the story and the second, acting like the well behaved, hard working, human boy they all believed him to be. They believed him as predicted and things were set to go back to normal. Kurama sighed deciding to face his mistake and go back through the park; he stood at the spot where it all started. Hiei sat in the tree behind him "there's a better view on that cliff over there." The fire demon said suddenly. The fox turned in surprise, Hiei was perched on the branch and pointing to a cliff that was a good ways away. Kurama nodded as followed Hiei to the grassy cliff that over saw a lush forest, and to the side the evening sky accompanied by the sparkling lights of Mushiori City. "its beautiful." Kurama said happily

"Hn." Hiei said as he lay down in the soft green grass, folding his arms behind his head. The fox sat next to him looking out at the view. "So I trust it doesn't hurt to stand any more Hiei?" The fire demon looked away at the question "Next time it's my turn."

"Next time?"

Hiei raised an eyebrow "there's no way I'm letting that demon be your first. I have to return the favor after all." He grumbled looking down,

"yeah I guess so." Kurama laughed as he slowly lay down and leaned his head on the fire demons soft hair "thank you Hiei." He whispered

The fire demon merely looked at his fox with a mildly curious expression.

"For saving me from all these changes."

Hiei looked back at the sky "it was nothing." He said silently, Kurama smiled and closed his eyes.

Owari


End file.
